You think you’ve finally found “the one”.  Then an unkindness threatens to torpedo the wonder of love!  In this moment you try everything to save what took so long to find, everything from pleading to aggression.  Nothing works!

Being a doormat just brings on more anger… after all, a pack of dogs attack the weakest dog.  And being forceful just encourages this force to be met with more force… that’s not going to result in peace!  So what do you do?

Here is today’s Gladitude-

First, deal appropriately with the behavior-  Criticism and blame, pleading for mercy or even fiercely attacking back, are all like putting a match to a grenade which for sure, is going to blow up causing you to feel even worse.

What can you do instead?  Literally move towards what feels good and away from what feels bad.  Simply say, “I’ll be back in 15 minutes” and leave the scene.  If the response is, “Oh, are you just going to walk away!” say, “Yes, I need to cool off.”

You are not trying to control the other person; you are taking care of your own emotions.  You are not telling someone what to do; you are letting them know you will not stay in the presence of unkindness.  You are giving them the chance to choose again for themselves.

Next, allow peace- When you come back, you may just find a calmer, kinder person there.  Don’t hold a grudge… don’t rub their nose in it.  Allow them to save face.  Allow space for the peace and love that has returned.  Now you can begin the conversation of healthy conflict, healthy boundaries and expectations.  And by all means, seek first to understand then to be understood.

Finally, be willing to see truth despite appearances- Let’s be honest, the situation may look like a mess right now… but is this what you want to fill your world?  You choose your perceptions, your interpretation of situations.  Do you really want to see yourself as a victim?

Remember, in truth you are an individualized expression of life and wisdom.  You are awareness, clarity, love, and peace.  This is who you are… not what you have or don’t have; not what you have to strive for or earn.  This is your inheritance as an individualized expression of creation.

This is also the truth about everyone showing up in your world.  See past the personality, the personal… to the impersonal love that underlies all creation.

I know this sounds like a stretch!  But seeing truth is the choice to step into your power; to stop feeling like a victim of someone’s behavior.

Cultivating intimacy is like learning a beautiful dance; stepping on each other’s toes is part of the learning, not a sign of failure!

Want help learning the dance of love?  Call me so we can set a time for your complementary chat. (772) 485-5597

SociBook del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Yahoo Buzz StumbleUpon